How to lead a secular pre-meal blessing

“Food fuels our bodies, but the meals that we share can do infinitely more than that. They help ease our hurts and mend our fences; they foster connections we feared we had lost.” - Come to the Table: A Celebration of Family Life⁠ by Doris Christopher

An Inclusive Meal Blessing

It is a privilege to have plentiful access to food, and an acquired practice to truly savor and appreciate each meal. How often do we mindlessly inhale what is on the plate in front of you, even if was carefully prepared by loving hands? Moments of intentionality before and after eating offer the chance to pause and savor the moment- with gratitude and awareness of the history of our food, and gratitude for those we are sharing it with.

Offer this blessing right before a meal, especially shared meals in community as in for potlucks, holidays, special family dinners, etc. You can also pause before eating on your own to offer a simple moment of gratitude. Regardless of your religious affiliation or lack there-of, saying “grace” is a timeless tradition with both secular and spiritual benefits. It is about mindfulness, but also an empathetic connection to all of the hands and nature forces that made the meal possible—a reminder to experience gratitude even for that which is unapparent. So can a simple meal alchemize into a sacred moment.

This blessing is especially useful if you are not part of a religious faith, or if you have guests whose faith is unknown. It can of course be adapted to include gratitude for a specific higher power.

Premeal blessing

To begin, ask for a moment of togetherness to pause before eating, once everyone present has a plate of food. Read the following blessing, making changes and adding specifics to tailor it to the meal you are eating:

Before eating we’d like to take a moment to acknowledge where this food has come from. Please pause with us for a moment to reflect and give thanks:

to the sun and the rain which nourished the fruits, vegetables, and grains.
to the agricultural workers who harvested and picked the fruits of nature’s labor
to the animals who gave their lives so that we could be nourished. (if meat is being served)
to the friends or family members who chopped, sliced, and prepared each dish with love.
to the many hands that have touched this food on its way to us, so that we may eat here together today, we say thank you.

A post-meal blessing from John O’Donohue, Irish poet

We end this meal with grace.
For the joy and nourishment of food,
the slowed time away from the world
to come into presence with each other
and sense the subtle lives behind our faces,
the different colors of our voices,
the edges of hungers we keep private,
the circle of love that unites us.
We pray the wise spirit who keeps us
To change the structures that make others hunger
And that after such grace we might now go forth
and impart dignity wherever we partake.
– John O’Donohue from “To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings”

Notes from the science of wellbeing

Beginning a meal with intentionality paves the way for a moment of “savoring”. Savoring is a form of mindfulness that calls awareness to good things as they are happening to us, intentionally prolonging and magnifying positive experiences. Positive Psychology authors Fred B. Bryant and Joseph Veroff describe several kinds of savoring in their book on the subject:

Luxuriating (positive emotion involved: pleasure). Ex. The first bite of a perfectly seasoned soup, the satisfying flakiness of a butter croissant, the sweetness and texture of fresh figs.
Marveling (awe). Ex. The wonder of considering how many people’s labor has contributed to the meal you are eating, the awe of nature’s forces to turn sunlight, water, and dirt into strawberries, the impressive and painstaking effort put into an elaborate dish brought by a guest.
Basking (pride). The joy of putting together a delicious menu, feeling proud of and connected with one’s family or friends.
Thanksgiving (gratitude). A swelling sense of thankfulness for the gifts of life, from people, to food, to privilege.

Pre-meal Blessing

Pre-meal blessings

A pre-meal ritual for expressing gratitude among interfaith or secular dinner guests.

An Inclusive Meal Blessing

Premeal blessing

A post-meal blessing from John O’Donohue, Irish poet

Notes from the science of wellbeing

Further Reading