Birthday Rituals
Birthday Questions
An annual ritual for reflection.
Birthdays and other annual celebrations present a wonderful opportunity to mark the passage of time and to reflect on the past, present, and future.
Here are our two favorite rituals for celebrating birthdays with intention and reflection.
Birthday questions
At some point during a birthday gathering, typically after cake/presents and when the energy has mellowed, the birthday person is asked to respond to two questions:
1) What have you learned about yourself in the past year?
2) What do you want to carry with you into the year that lies ahead?
It is typically a moment of sincere reflection that invites intimacy among guests and vulnerability from the birthday person.
These questions can also be asked among friends or family outside of a party setting.
This ritual is shared by Brittany Wolfe, whose family has practiced this ritual for decades.
2. Birthday Wishes
Materials:
Acorns or other small objects. (Pretty stones, seeds, coins, colorful glass beads, etc.)
A decorative bowl or display plate
How it works:
Each person takes an acorn or small object and thinks of a wish for the birthday person in the year ahead.
Guests go around in a circle and share their wish for the birthday person, placing their object in the bowl.
A gift like this lasts long after the party, as the objects can be displayed as a reminder of the well-wishes of loved ones.
Variation:
For very large groups or when reading wishes aloud isn’t ideal, guests can be asked to write their hope or wish on an index card or the back of a photo. Wishes are collected and shared after the party.
Notes from the science of wellbeing
Reflection
Regular reflection on how you have grown and changed helps build the skill of self-awareness, which has several proven benefits:
Stronger self-development, greater self-acceptance, and proactivity (Sutton, 2016).
Perspective-taking, self-control, creativity, pride, and general self-esteem (Silvia & O’Brien, 2004).
Better communication and self-confidence at work (Sutton, Williams, & Allinson, 2015).